Saturday, February 18, 2006
I Am Not Alone
To my children ... how much I love and care for them ...
I Am Not Alone
The night, it is deserted
from the mountains to the sea.
But I, the one who rocks you,
I am not alone!
The sky, it is deserted
for the moon falls to the sea.
But I, the one who holds you,
I am not alone!
The world, it is deserted.
All flesh is sad you see.
But I, the one who hugs you,
I am not alone!
.... Gabriela Mistral(1922)
.... Gabriela Mistral(1922)
Life on the Train
A while back, I read a very interesting book that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides.
Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.
When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents!
Sadly, this is far from the truth.
Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.
There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.
These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish.
Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along. Others, will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey.
Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.
Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off….
Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarsely leave a sign that they ever travelled along with you or ever crossed your path…
We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own.
Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway.
Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.
That’s okay …everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.
We must strive to make the best of it… no matter what...
We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.
Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.
We too may vacilate or hesitate, even trip… hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding…
The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come.
Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop.
Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.
Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop…. I’m sure of it!
My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be carrying their baggage… most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.
I’ll be glad to see them again. I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage… and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.
We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.
All aboard!
Safe journey!!
BON VOYAGE!
Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.
When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents!
Sadly, this is far from the truth.
Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.
There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.
These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish.
Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along. Others, will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey.
Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.
Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off….
Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarsely leave a sign that they ever travelled along with you or ever crossed your path…
We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own.
Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway.
Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.
That’s okay …everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.
We must strive to make the best of it… no matter what...
We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.
Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.
We too may vacilate or hesitate, even trip… hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding…
The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come.
Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop.
Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.
Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop…. I’m sure of it!
My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be carrying their baggage… most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.
I’ll be glad to see them again. I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage… and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.
We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.
All aboard!
Safe journey!!
BON VOYAGE!
Jom Mancing
Was back on the second nite raya … not many of my friends and close relatives were back from their kampung – cant go visiting them for raya. Have to reserve that for next week. Kept myself occupied doing shopping apa lah minah ni shopping after raya Logged myself into msn and ym … all offline … ye ke or they make themselves invisible … anyway, my only chatter in Liberia is still working … on UN assignment.
Learned a lot about Liberia and gosh … how lucky we are to be in Malaysia. Liberia, a country rich in natural resources … iron ore, timber, diamonds, gold, hydropower … with population averaged at the age of 18 years old … very young population. Too bad that this country had the history of 14 years of civil war that invited strong presence of The United Nations Mission in Liberia (UNMIL) throughout the country … hmm… another American hidden agenda and self-interest … but the security situation is still volatile and the process of rebuilding the social and economic structure of this war-torn country remains sluggish.
Again and again … how lucky that we are Malaysians !!!
Back on raya visiting … have completed my visits to the relatives whom I owed honor and great thanks for taking care of me during my study times in KL and first job in Penang. How fortunate I was that time to have relatives that have the hearts to take care of those in needs … and how much I missed two of them who had made their journey to meet Allah … innalillahiwainnailahirojiun.
Today, I was flipping through my documents and came across this word document that I have saved from someone. Cant recall where I got this and I hope whoever wrote this wont mind me sharing this ….
*** Jom Mancing ***
Jika kamu memancing ikan... . setelah ikan itu terlekat dimata kail hendaklah kamu mengambil terus ikan itu... . janganlah sesekali kamu lepaskan ia semula ke dalam air begitu sahaja... . kerana ia akan sakit oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kail mu dan mungkin akan menderita selagi ia masih hidup.
Begitulah juga setelah kamu memberi banyak pengharapan kepada seseorang ... setelah ia mula menyayangimu hendaklah kamu menjaga hatinya ... . janganlah sesekali kamu terus meninggalkannya begitu sahaja ... kerana dia akan terluka oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin tidak dapat melupakan segalanya selagi dia mengingatimu... .
Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh... . cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu... . Apabila sekali ia retak . Tentu sukar untuk kamu menampalnya semula. Akhirnya ia dibuang. Sedangkan jika kamu cuba membaikinya mungkin ia masih boleh digunakan lagi... .
Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang terima lah seadanya... . Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa... . anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan kesilapan bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya... . akhirya kamu kecewa meninggalkannya. Sedangkan jika kamu memaafkannya boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan berterusan hingga keakhirnya... .
Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi... yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu. Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba mencari makanan yang lain.. Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan. Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. Kamu akan menyesal.
Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan... yang kamu pasti membawa kebaikan kepada dirimu. Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba membandingkannya dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan. Kelak, kamu kehilangannya dan kamu akan menyesal apabila dia beralih arah.
Learned a lot about Liberia and gosh … how lucky we are to be in Malaysia. Liberia, a country rich in natural resources … iron ore, timber, diamonds, gold, hydropower … with population averaged at the age of 18 years old … very young population. Too bad that this country had the history of 14 years of civil war that invited strong presence of The United Nations Mission in Liberia (UNMIL) throughout the country … hmm… another American hidden agenda and self-interest … but the security situation is still volatile and the process of rebuilding the social and economic structure of this war-torn country remains sluggish.
Again and again … how lucky that we are Malaysians !!!
Back on raya visiting … have completed my visits to the relatives whom I owed honor and great thanks for taking care of me during my study times in KL and first job in Penang. How fortunate I was that time to have relatives that have the hearts to take care of those in needs … and how much I missed two of them who had made their journey to meet Allah … innalillahiwainnailahirojiun.
Today, I was flipping through my documents and came across this word document that I have saved from someone. Cant recall where I got this and I hope whoever wrote this wont mind me sharing this ….
*** Jom Mancing ***
Jika kamu memancing ikan... . setelah ikan itu terlekat dimata kail hendaklah kamu mengambil terus ikan itu... . janganlah sesekali kamu lepaskan ia semula ke dalam air begitu sahaja... . kerana ia akan sakit oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kail mu dan mungkin akan menderita selagi ia masih hidup.
Begitulah juga setelah kamu memberi banyak pengharapan kepada seseorang ... setelah ia mula menyayangimu hendaklah kamu menjaga hatinya ... . janganlah sesekali kamu terus meninggalkannya begitu sahaja ... kerana dia akan terluka oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin tidak dapat melupakan segalanya selagi dia mengingatimu... .
Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh... . cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu... . Apabila sekali ia retak . Tentu sukar untuk kamu menampalnya semula. Akhirnya ia dibuang. Sedangkan jika kamu cuba membaikinya mungkin ia masih boleh digunakan lagi... .
Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang terima lah seadanya... . Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa... . anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan kesilapan bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya... . akhirya kamu kecewa meninggalkannya. Sedangkan jika kamu memaafkannya boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan berterusan hingga keakhirnya... .
Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi... yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu. Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba mencari makanan yang lain.. Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan. Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. Kamu akan menyesal.
Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan... yang kamu pasti membawa kebaikan kepada dirimu. Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba membandingkannya dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan. Kelak, kamu kehilangannya dan kamu akan menyesal apabila dia beralih arah.
Aku, Kau Berbeza ... Aku, Kau Istimewa ... Part 2
Husband and Wife must be souls like twin flames illuminating all about them.
It is not a question of equality between them but of identity.
She is language; he is thought
She is prudence; he is law
He is reason; she is sense
She is duty; he is right
He is author; she is work
He is patience; she is peace
He is will; she is wish
He is pity; she is gift
He is song; she is note
She is fuel; he is fire
She is glory; he is sun
She is motion; he is wind
He is owner; she is wealth
He is battle; she is might
He is lamp; she is light
He is day; she is night
He is justice; she is pity
He is channel; she is river
She is beauty; he is strength
She is body; he is soul
It is not a question of equality between them but of identity.
She is language; he is thought
She is prudence; he is law
He is reason; she is sense
She is duty; he is right
He is author; she is work
He is patience; she is peace
He is will; she is wish
He is pity; she is gift
He is song; she is note
She is fuel; he is fire
She is glory; he is sun
She is motion; he is wind
He is owner; she is wealth
He is battle; she is might
He is lamp; she is light
He is day; she is night
He is justice; she is pity
He is channel; she is river
She is beauty; he is strength
She is body; he is soul
Aku, Kau Berbeza ... Aku, Kau Istimewa ... Part 1
Women... sweet and lovely, gentle and beautiful... One can talk for hours about women, one can write books about them, one can dedicate poems to them.
It is an undisputed fact that both man and woman are human beings. For woman eats and drinks as man eats and drinks ... Woman loves and hates as man loves and hates ... Woman thinks, learns and understands as man thinks, learns and understands ... Woman, like man, needs shelter, clothing and vehicles ... Woman feels hunger and thirst as man feels hunger and thirst ... Woman lives and dies as man lives and dies.
But why are there man and woman? There must be a natural necessity for the existence of man and woman, rather than man only or woman only. It follows that neither of them is exactly the other, and the fact that a natural difference exists between man and woman is proved by the created existence of man and woman. This means, as a matter of fact, that there is a role for each one of them, matching the difference between them. Accordingly, there must be different prevailing conditions for each one to live and perform their naturally different roles. To comprehend this role, we must understand the differences in the nature of man and woman, namely the natural differences between them.
Here is something to share from a friend of mine ….. (there are some loose ends in here, but whatever it is, read it for now ... )
LELAKI
Lelaki bujang kena tanggung dosa sendiri apabila sudah baligh manakala dosa gadis bujang ditanggung oleh bapanya.
Lelaki berkahwin kena tanggung dosa sendiri, dosa isteri, dosa anak perempuan yang belum berkahwin dan dosa anak lelaki yang belum baligh. BERATKAN?
Hukum menjelaskan anak lelaki kena bertanggungjawab ke atas ibunya dan sekiranya dia tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya maka dosa baginya terutama anak lelaki yang tua, manakala perempuan tidak, perempuan hanya perlu taat kepada suaminya. Isteri berbuat baik pahala dapat kepadanya kalau buat tak baik dosanya ditanggung oleh suaminya. BERATKAN??
Suami kena bagi nafkah pada isteri, ini wajib tapi isteri tidak. Walaupun begitu isteri boleh membantu.Haram bagi suami bertanya pendapatan isteri lebih-lebih lagi menggunakan pendapatan isteri tanpa izin ini.
Banyak lagi lelaki lebih-lebih lagi yang bergelar suami perlu tanggung. Kalau nak dibayangkan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggungnya seperti gunung dengan semut.Itu sebabnya mengikut kajian nyawa orang perempuan lebih panjang daripada lelaki. Lelaki mati cepat kerana tak larat dengan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggung (ikut kajian laa..)
Tetapi orang lelaki ada keistimewaannya yang dianugerah oleh Allah SWT. Ini orang lelaki kena tahu, kalau tak tahu kena jadi perempuan. Begitulah kira-kiranya.
WANITA :
Auratnya lebih susah dijaga berbanding lelaki. Perlu meminta izin dari suaminya apabila mahu keluar rumah tetapi tidak sebaliknya.
Saksinya kurang berbanding lelaki.
Menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki.
Perlu menghadapi kesusahan mengandung dan melahirkan anak.
Wajib taat kepada suaminya tetapi suami tak perlu taat pada isterinya.
Talak terletak di tangan suami dan bukan isteri.
Wanita kurang dalam beribadat kerana masalah haid dan nifas yang tak ada pada lelaki.
Pernahkah kita lihat sebaliknya??
Benda yang mahal harganya akan dijaga dan dibelai serta disimpan di tempat yang tersorok dan selamat. Sudah pasti intan permata tidak akan dibiar bersepah-sepah bukan? Itulah bandingannya dengan seorang wanita.
Wanita perlu taat kepada suami tetapi lelaki wajib taat kepada ibunya 3 kali lebih utama dari bapanya.Bukankah ibu adalah seorang wanita?
Wanita menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki tetapi harta itu menjadi milik peribadinya dan tidak perlu diserahkan kepada suaminya, manakala lelaki menerima pusaka perlu menggunakan hartanya untuk menyara isteri dan anak-anak.
Wanita perlu bersusah payah mengandung dan melahirkan anak, tetapi setiap saat dia didoakan oleh segala haiwan, malaikat dan seluruh makhluk ALLAH di mukabumi ini, dan matinya jika kerana melahirkan adalah syahid kecil. Manakala dosanya diampun ALLAH (dosa kecil).
Di akhirat kelak, seorang lelaki akan dipertanggungjawabkan terhadap 4 wanita ini: isterinya, ibunya, anak perempuannya dan saudara perempuannya. Manakala seorang wanita pula, tanggungjawab terhadapnya ditanggung oleh 4 org lelaki ini: suaminya,ayahnya, anak lelakinya dan saudara lelakinya.
Seorang wanita boleh memasuki pintu Syurga melalui mana-mana pintu Syurga yg disukainya cukup dengan 4 syarat sahaja: sembahyang 5 waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, taat suaminya dan menjaga kehormatannya. Seorang lelaki perlu pergi berjihad fisabilillah tetapi wanita jika taat akan suaminya serta menunaikan tanggungjawabnya kepada ALLAH akan turut menerima pahala seperti pahala orang pergi berperang fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata.
MasyaALLAH...sayangnya ALLAH pada wanita ....
Seorang wanita adalah pelengkap dan sememangnya istimewa di sisi seorang lelaki, tetapi ingatlah wahai lelaki...kamu sebenarnya adalah istimewa disisi Allah, maka dengan sebab itu DIA mengangkat kamu menjadi pemimpin...maka dengan keistimewaan itu, JAGALAH dan HARGAILAH wanita sebaik-baiknya...supaya kelak masing2 lelaki dan wanita dapat pulang mengadap Allah dalam keadaan istimewa disisiNYA..
"Berpeganglah kamu sekelian dengan tali Allah dan janganlah kamu berpecah-belah, dan ingatlah nikmat Allah atas kamu, seketika kamu bermusuh-musuhan telah dipersatukanNya hati kamu semuanya, sehingga dengan segera kamu telah menjadi bersaudara dengan sebab nikmatNya.(Ali-Imran:103) Pada hari itu (hari qiamat) manusia diberitahu akan segala yang telah dikerjakannya dan yang telah ditinggalkan. Bahkan manusia itu, anggotanya menjadi saksi terhadap dirinya sendiri, walaupun dia berperi-peri memberikan alasan untuk membela diri "
It is an undisputed fact that both man and woman are human beings. For woman eats and drinks as man eats and drinks ... Woman loves and hates as man loves and hates ... Woman thinks, learns and understands as man thinks, learns and understands ... Woman, like man, needs shelter, clothing and vehicles ... Woman feels hunger and thirst as man feels hunger and thirst ... Woman lives and dies as man lives and dies.
But why are there man and woman? There must be a natural necessity for the existence of man and woman, rather than man only or woman only. It follows that neither of them is exactly the other, and the fact that a natural difference exists between man and woman is proved by the created existence of man and woman. This means, as a matter of fact, that there is a role for each one of them, matching the difference between them. Accordingly, there must be different prevailing conditions for each one to live and perform their naturally different roles. To comprehend this role, we must understand the differences in the nature of man and woman, namely the natural differences between them.
Here is something to share from a friend of mine ….. (there are some loose ends in here, but whatever it is, read it for now ... )
LELAKI
Lelaki bujang kena tanggung dosa sendiri apabila sudah baligh manakala dosa gadis bujang ditanggung oleh bapanya.
Lelaki berkahwin kena tanggung dosa sendiri, dosa isteri, dosa anak perempuan yang belum berkahwin dan dosa anak lelaki yang belum baligh. BERATKAN?
Hukum menjelaskan anak lelaki kena bertanggungjawab ke atas ibunya dan sekiranya dia tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya maka dosa baginya terutama anak lelaki yang tua, manakala perempuan tidak, perempuan hanya perlu taat kepada suaminya. Isteri berbuat baik pahala dapat kepadanya kalau buat tak baik dosanya ditanggung oleh suaminya. BERATKAN??
Suami kena bagi nafkah pada isteri, ini wajib tapi isteri tidak. Walaupun begitu isteri boleh membantu.Haram bagi suami bertanya pendapatan isteri lebih-lebih lagi menggunakan pendapatan isteri tanpa izin ini.
Banyak lagi lelaki lebih-lebih lagi yang bergelar suami perlu tanggung. Kalau nak dibayangkan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggungnya seperti gunung dengan semut.Itu sebabnya mengikut kajian nyawa orang perempuan lebih panjang daripada lelaki. Lelaki mati cepat kerana tak larat dengan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggung (ikut kajian laa..)
Tetapi orang lelaki ada keistimewaannya yang dianugerah oleh Allah SWT. Ini orang lelaki kena tahu, kalau tak tahu kena jadi perempuan. Begitulah kira-kiranya.
WANITA :
Auratnya lebih susah dijaga berbanding lelaki. Perlu meminta izin dari suaminya apabila mahu keluar rumah tetapi tidak sebaliknya.
Saksinya kurang berbanding lelaki.
Menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki.
Perlu menghadapi kesusahan mengandung dan melahirkan anak.
Wajib taat kepada suaminya tetapi suami tak perlu taat pada isterinya.
Talak terletak di tangan suami dan bukan isteri.
Wanita kurang dalam beribadat kerana masalah haid dan nifas yang tak ada pada lelaki.
Pernahkah kita lihat sebaliknya??
Benda yang mahal harganya akan dijaga dan dibelai serta disimpan di tempat yang tersorok dan selamat. Sudah pasti intan permata tidak akan dibiar bersepah-sepah bukan? Itulah bandingannya dengan seorang wanita.
Wanita perlu taat kepada suami tetapi lelaki wajib taat kepada ibunya 3 kali lebih utama dari bapanya.Bukankah ibu adalah seorang wanita?
Wanita menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki tetapi harta itu menjadi milik peribadinya dan tidak perlu diserahkan kepada suaminya, manakala lelaki menerima pusaka perlu menggunakan hartanya untuk menyara isteri dan anak-anak.
Wanita perlu bersusah payah mengandung dan melahirkan anak, tetapi setiap saat dia didoakan oleh segala haiwan, malaikat dan seluruh makhluk ALLAH di mukabumi ini, dan matinya jika kerana melahirkan adalah syahid kecil. Manakala dosanya diampun ALLAH (dosa kecil).
Di akhirat kelak, seorang lelaki akan dipertanggungjawabkan terhadap 4 wanita ini: isterinya, ibunya, anak perempuannya dan saudara perempuannya. Manakala seorang wanita pula, tanggungjawab terhadapnya ditanggung oleh 4 org lelaki ini: suaminya,ayahnya, anak lelakinya dan saudara lelakinya.
Seorang wanita boleh memasuki pintu Syurga melalui mana-mana pintu Syurga yg disukainya cukup dengan 4 syarat sahaja: sembahyang 5 waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, taat suaminya dan menjaga kehormatannya. Seorang lelaki perlu pergi berjihad fisabilillah tetapi wanita jika taat akan suaminya serta menunaikan tanggungjawabnya kepada ALLAH akan turut menerima pahala seperti pahala orang pergi berperang fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata.
MasyaALLAH...sayangnya ALLAH pada wanita ....
Seorang wanita adalah pelengkap dan sememangnya istimewa di sisi seorang lelaki, tetapi ingatlah wahai lelaki...kamu sebenarnya adalah istimewa disisi Allah, maka dengan sebab itu DIA mengangkat kamu menjadi pemimpin...maka dengan keistimewaan itu, JAGALAH dan HARGAILAH wanita sebaik-baiknya...supaya kelak masing2 lelaki dan wanita dapat pulang mengadap Allah dalam keadaan istimewa disisiNYA..
"Berpeganglah kamu sekelian dengan tali Allah dan janganlah kamu berpecah-belah, dan ingatlah nikmat Allah atas kamu, seketika kamu bermusuh-musuhan telah dipersatukanNya hati kamu semuanya, sehingga dengan segera kamu telah menjadi bersaudara dengan sebab nikmatNya.(Ali-Imran:103) Pada hari itu (hari qiamat) manusia diberitahu akan segala yang telah dikerjakannya dan yang telah ditinggalkan. Bahkan manusia itu, anggotanya menjadi saksi terhadap dirinya sendiri, walaupun dia berperi-peri memberikan alasan untuk membela diri "
Hear What Oprah Had To Say About Men
... something shared from myspace fren ....
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find whatmakes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as youdeserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he Probablyis.Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad atyourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat youany differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothersyou, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even ifhe has more education or in a better job.Do not make him into a quasi-god.He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two waystreet.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cuteAbout baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a newrelationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationshipConsists of two WHOLE individuals...Look for someone complimentary ... not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and anotherwoman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour toappreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find whatmakes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as youdeserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he Probablyis.Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad atyourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat youany differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothersyou, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even ifhe has more education or in a better job.Do not make him into a quasi-god.He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two waystreet.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cuteAbout baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a newrelationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationshipConsists of two WHOLE individuals...Look for someone complimentary ... not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and anotherwoman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour toappreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Betrayal ... The Feeling of Being Broken
People lie … people backstab … people gossip … people show off their split personality ability...people suck up … this seems familiar...did I experienced it somewhere…someday...?
betray somebody: to do or say something harmful to somebody after pretending to be a friend
The mere word, "betrayal," evokes enormous feelings. It’s one thing to be disappointed, saddened, and unhappy; but it’s altogether another to feel BETRAYED. …Lied to in a way that feels humiliating. Defiled by someone whom you trusted; someone in whom you placed your belief, your hopes, perhaps your love.
I Don’t Understand
I don’t understand
Why people lie
Why a promise means nothing
Why the truth hurts
But most of all
Why people back-stab,
Why we hate,
Why we pretend to be what we are not.
What I understand most is
Why I tell the truth,
Why I never lie,
Why I am who I am
-- KW
Was reading this malay novel --- that took "ages" for me to complete reading Anyway, what I would like to share is the content that wrote about betrayal ... backstabbing
“Sebagai manusia kita selalunya tidak sedar, perkataan yang keluar dari mulut kita apabila mengata seseorang itu akan mendatangkan mudharat yang amat teruk pada orang yang kita kata. Walau kita tidak menganggap ianya perkara besar kerana percakapan biasa. Namun kita tidak sedar kata-kata kita itu membunuh seluruh kehidupan orang yang kita kata”
… Norhayati Berahim
Do you take revenge on these betrayals? My dad said … bila orang mengata kita, makin bertambahlah pahala kita. Ketika nanti orang yang memfitnahkan akan memberhentikan fitnah, kita tidak rugi apa2 . Jadi fitnah itu kita biarkan kerana Allah sentiasa benar dan akan menunjukan kebenaran pada orang yang benar…
Gosh … really hurts … I chose not to reprimand nor defend myself … as I believe if I did that they will try to surface the worst of me … Alhamdulillah, kebenaran menyebelahi kita ... at least for this one
Trust is a gift. If you gave and it was not well and honestly received – YOU have no blame.
There are many times when one can experience betrayal ... by parents … by a lover … by society … by your body … by a friend … of self
... another betrayal … how I have to struggle with a feeling of having been betrayed … the shock … denial … anger … extreme hurt/sadness …. especially when the betrayal is by a friend --- whom I respect 'cos of being elderly,being the person that I sought to lend a shoulder,returning a favor when needed one
betray somebody: to do or say something harmful to somebody after pretending to be a friend
The mere word, "betrayal," evokes enormous feelings. It’s one thing to be disappointed, saddened, and unhappy; but it’s altogether another to feel BETRAYED. …Lied to in a way that feels humiliating. Defiled by someone whom you trusted; someone in whom you placed your belief, your hopes, perhaps your love.
I Don’t Understand
I don’t understand
Why people lie
Why a promise means nothing
Why the truth hurts
But most of all
Why people back-stab,
Why we hate,
Why we pretend to be what we are not.
What I understand most is
Why I tell the truth,
Why I never lie,
Why I am who I am
-- KW
Was reading this malay novel --- that took "ages" for me to complete reading Anyway, what I would like to share is the content that wrote about betrayal ... backstabbing
“Sebagai manusia kita selalunya tidak sedar, perkataan yang keluar dari mulut kita apabila mengata seseorang itu akan mendatangkan mudharat yang amat teruk pada orang yang kita kata. Walau kita tidak menganggap ianya perkara besar kerana percakapan biasa. Namun kita tidak sedar kata-kata kita itu membunuh seluruh kehidupan orang yang kita kata”
… Norhayati Berahim
Do you take revenge on these betrayals? My dad said … bila orang mengata kita, makin bertambahlah pahala kita. Ketika nanti orang yang memfitnahkan akan memberhentikan fitnah, kita tidak rugi apa2 . Jadi fitnah itu kita biarkan kerana Allah sentiasa benar dan akan menunjukan kebenaran pada orang yang benar…
Gosh … really hurts … I chose not to reprimand nor defend myself … as I believe if I did that they will try to surface the worst of me … Alhamdulillah, kebenaran menyebelahi kita ... at least for this one
Trust is a gift. If you gave and it was not well and honestly received – YOU have no blame.
There are many times when one can experience betrayal ... by parents … by a lover … by society … by your body … by a friend … of self
... another betrayal … how I have to struggle with a feeling of having been betrayed … the shock … denial … anger … extreme hurt/sadness …. especially when the betrayal is by a friend --- whom I respect 'cos of being elderly,being the person that I sought to lend a shoulder,returning a favor when needed one
It's natural to hurt
I always love Ramli Sarip’s song and masculine husky voice ... though not the person Last Friday, before picking up a framed antique mirror that I bought from this sister, my eyes struck on Ramli’s CD based on his recent concert as I passed this audio shop. Bought it , loved every songs that he sang. Well, one of his songs just alerted me after a chat with my one of my gf :-
Doa Buat Kekasih
Andainya aku bertanya
Padamu tentang bahgiaDi mana nilai setia
Di manakah puncak cinta
Mahukah engkau mengerti
Harapan serupa mimpi
Ianya dapat terjadi
Atau hilang tak berganti
Sejarah mengajar kita
Menjadi lebih dewasaMeniti arus angkara
Lupakan kisah nan lalu
Teguhkan tugu imanmu
Doaku buat kekasih
Yang dulu usah dirindu
Hilangkanlah dari hatimu
Doaku buat kekasih
Yes, breaking up is hard to do. We've all gone through it, we've all cried and thought it would never end. But life does go on, and it actually gets much better!
Breakups are a natural part of life, and while we have learned things from our current relationship, there are still many, many more things for us to learn and experience. Heartbreaks always seem, at the time, unending and more tragic than anyone else has ever felt. Hearts have broken for thousands of years. But they mend.
As the saying goes … After a bad heartbreak, remember this:
"Your heart will heal, and you will love like this again, and when you do, you´ll deny you ever loved like this before."
Doa Buat Kekasih
Andainya aku bertanya
Padamu tentang bahgiaDi mana nilai setia
Di manakah puncak cinta
Mahukah engkau mengerti
Harapan serupa mimpi
Ianya dapat terjadi
Atau hilang tak berganti
Sejarah mengajar kita
Menjadi lebih dewasaMeniti arus angkara
Lupakan kisah nan lalu
Teguhkan tugu imanmu
Doaku buat kekasih
Yang dulu usah dirindu
Hilangkanlah dari hatimu
Doaku buat kekasih
Yes, breaking up is hard to do. We've all gone through it, we've all cried and thought it would never end. But life does go on, and it actually gets much better!
Breakups are a natural part of life, and while we have learned things from our current relationship, there are still many, many more things for us to learn and experience. Heartbreaks always seem, at the time, unending and more tragic than anyone else has ever felt. Hearts have broken for thousands of years. But they mend.
As the saying goes … After a bad heartbreak, remember this:
"Your heart will heal, and you will love like this again, and when you do, you´ll deny you ever loved like this before."
Attractions
ATTRACTION isn't logical. It doesn't follow the rules that it "should" follow.
ATTRACTION is a very powerful emotion that has reasons and triggers that don't make any sense at first glance...Women
AREN'T attracted to men who give away their power, kiss up to them, smother them with attention, act like whipped puppies, and get nervous just being in the same room with them.
... David DeAngelo Communications Inc.
Now, hows that ... I stumbled into one unexpectedly but I would like to hear from you.
ATTRACTION is a very powerful emotion that has reasons and triggers that don't make any sense at first glance...Women
AREN'T attracted to men who give away their power, kiss up to them, smother them with attention, act like whipped puppies, and get nervous just being in the same room with them.
... David DeAngelo Communications Inc.
Now, hows that ... I stumbled into one unexpectedly but I would like to hear from you.
Love and Wisdom
Love and wisdom are two of the most important values throughout our lifes transitions.
Love gives compassion and strength. Wisdom leads us consciously during the transition process, via self-awareness. Both elements interface with each other. Each has aided me to face many my own life's challenges.
The author of Transition, William Bridges, using the melancholy wit of Oscar Wilde, wrote about our hopes and fears of dealing when dealing with personal transitions. The paradox is this: The Gods have two way of dealing harshly with us -- the first is to deny us our dreams, and the second is to grant them.
Can't Help Myself ...
I'm not supposed to want you;
I'm not supposed to care,
and yet I spend my time dreamingof all that we could share.
I'm not supposed to think about you
or wonder where you've been,
but no matter how I fight it,thoughts of you sneak in.
I'm not supposed to ponder
where you are each night,but you creep into my vision
when the stars shine bright.
I'm not supposed to yearn so,
always wishing you were here,
but I hunger for your kisses,and I long to draw you near.
I'm not supposed to imagine
where you are and what you do.
I know I shouldn't caterto a single thought of you.
I'm not supposed to need you.
I know these things. I do.
And yet I can't help myself,
because I keep thinking of you.
Love gives compassion and strength. Wisdom leads us consciously during the transition process, via self-awareness. Both elements interface with each other. Each has aided me to face many my own life's challenges.
The author of Transition, William Bridges, using the melancholy wit of Oscar Wilde, wrote about our hopes and fears of dealing when dealing with personal transitions. The paradox is this: The Gods have two way of dealing harshly with us -- the first is to deny us our dreams, and the second is to grant them.
Can't Help Myself ...
I'm not supposed to want you;
I'm not supposed to care,
and yet I spend my time dreamingof all that we could share.
I'm not supposed to think about you
or wonder where you've been,
but no matter how I fight it,thoughts of you sneak in.
I'm not supposed to ponder
where you are each night,but you creep into my vision
when the stars shine bright.
I'm not supposed to yearn so,
always wishing you were here,
but I hunger for your kisses,and I long to draw you near.
I'm not supposed to imagine
where you are and what you do.
I know I shouldn't caterto a single thought of you.
I'm not supposed to need you.
I know these things. I do.
And yet I can't help myself,
because I keep thinking of you.
Follow Your Dream
Poetry anyone … What has really got into Ida these days ? Could it be the joy, or could it be the light feeling in her? Somehow, her heart is filled with warm joy that keeps her going in reaching out for her dreams …
Trouble arrives in measures,
and we stack it up real high,
until we’re convinced,
we have no reason to try.
If you feel defeated,
you’re absolutely wrong,
for it you follow your dream,
you could never lose for long.
Ignore the minor set-backs
that pile up and trouble you,
or you will build a mountain,
out of the stones hurled at you.
The future holds great promise,
your destiny unknown,
but God is always helping,
and you’re never alone.
Soar bravely toward your goal.
Let nothing darken the way.
You can change your tomorrow,
if you seek your dream today.
"Follow Your Dream," written and designed by Bobette Bryan, 2000
Trouble arrives in measures,
and we stack it up real high,
until we’re convinced,
we have no reason to try.
If you feel defeated,
you’re absolutely wrong,
for it you follow your dream,
you could never lose for long.
Ignore the minor set-backs
that pile up and trouble you,
or you will build a mountain,
out of the stones hurled at you.
The future holds great promise,
your destiny unknown,
but God is always helping,
and you’re never alone.
Soar bravely toward your goal.
Let nothing darken the way.
You can change your tomorrow,
if you seek your dream today.
"Follow Your Dream," written and designed by Bobette Bryan, 2000
Fast Food Facts - Mom's Toys
Fast food is popular among kids, teenagers and has become part of the busy adult lifestyle too – in way, but that doesn’t apply to me most of the time . I don’t have that very busy lifestyle to go for fast food, though Fast food is convenient, predictable, and fast – that handles children before they showed their tantrums on food …. At least it helps to put some flesh on my 3rd son with the high in calories, sodium, fat and cholesterol Anyway, this mommy always remember to fit fast food into a balanced, healthy diet.
On the lighter side, I would take the children to McD, KFC, Burger King … for known secret reasons of my own This mommy is crazy on toys – beats the hell out of her own children The toys are so adorable – name it, I can hv Pooh lined up on my dashboard, Nemo on the speedometer panel, sporty Snoopy on my display cabinet …. Lots that I could do with them. It will take some time for the children to realize, this mom had swept their toys into her collections
On the lighter side, I would take the children to McD, KFC, Burger King … for known secret reasons of my own This mommy is crazy on toys – beats the hell out of her own children The toys are so adorable – name it, I can hv Pooh lined up on my dashboard, Nemo on the speedometer panel, sporty Snoopy on my display cabinet …. Lots that I could do with them. It will take some time for the children to realize, this mom had swept their toys into her collections
Seasons of Life
The thoughts flow in my mind the journeys and experiences that I have encountered in my life. In youth, I want to be grown up, married, and singing in Royal Albert Hall for millions before I learn to balance my voice box. In young adulthood, I want to earn millions and live in a mansion before I learn to balance my bank account against booties and braces. In middle age, I experience crisis of commitment that leads me to end our marriages before we examine our own goals and character. Then in maturity, I long for the energy and health of youth and a fresh start on decisions more properly made earlier in life.
Decisions, duties, and devotions are a lot like bananas, strawberries, and avocados - a lot more expensive out of season. At best, they cost more money, time, and trouble than they should. At worst, they are beyond our reach.
Give a thought on this:-
There is a time for everything
And a season for every activity under heaven;
A time to be born, and a time to die,
A time to plant, and a time to uproot,
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search, and a time to give up,
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and time to mend,
A time to keep silent, and a time to speak,
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace
One learn to swim with the seasons of life. Its about understanding that each season of life has its own commitments and joys. Swim with the current in warm weather and enjoy the experience.
Time spent longing for the past and "the good old days" or longing for the future until "real" life begin is wasted time. One should swim in the seasons of life, enjoying each stage of the journey for its own thrills and commitments. One has a deep spiritual sense of who he/she is in the eternal scheme of things -- and a belief system that does not limit and stifle, but throws open the window to all possibilities !
Decisions, duties, and devotions are a lot like bananas, strawberries, and avocados - a lot more expensive out of season. At best, they cost more money, time, and trouble than they should. At worst, they are beyond our reach.
Give a thought on this:-
There is a time for everything
And a season for every activity under heaven;
A time to be born, and a time to die,
A time to plant, and a time to uproot,
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search, and a time to give up,
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and time to mend,
A time to keep silent, and a time to speak,
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace
One learn to swim with the seasons of life. Its about understanding that each season of life has its own commitments and joys. Swim with the current in warm weather and enjoy the experience.
Time spent longing for the past and "the good old days" or longing for the future until "real" life begin is wasted time. One should swim in the seasons of life, enjoying each stage of the journey for its own thrills and commitments. One has a deep spiritual sense of who he/she is in the eternal scheme of things -- and a belief system that does not limit and stifle, but throws open the window to all possibilities !
Spiritual Guidance
I have always wanting to have an impact on friends and family in memorable ways. Life for me is about connections deeper than earthly bonds. To do that, I have to recognise that today's minutes counts. At one period of my life, I seemed to be frantically rushing from one activity to the next. A friend asked, "Why are you rushing through life? Are you in a hurry to get to the end?" It was a sobering question to me.
Life happens on the way to the future. Similar to calendars, I would see my life from two perspectives: "a day at a glance" and " a lifetime at a glance." If we keep our calendars open only to the the "lifetime at a glance" views, we forget to live each day to its fullest. We skip meaningful moments because we seem to be hurrying to turn the page.
On the other hand, if we leave our calendars open only to "day at a glance," we may miss reminders that the sum of our life is our days end to end. Both calendar views gives us the complete perspective. Our total impact on family, friends, and associates will amount to our impact one day at a time.
Living life to the fullest now doesn't mean that we do not plan for the future. On the contrary, we invest ourselves in things and people that have a life beyond ours. But living today means we can live with the confidence that actions today affect the quality an peace in our lives for years to come.
General speaking, most people feel separated from God in two situations: when one has plenty and when one has little. When we have plenty - money, jobs, friends, good times - we somehow think they have all come about by our own efforts and wisdom. When we have little - no money, no job, no friends, tragedy, and disappointment - we feel that God has pulled away from us and no longer cares. But that would be thought differently.
We got to have a personal relationship with God that gives us a heart of gratitude in "feast" and a steadfast peace and hope during "famine".
We should have given a great deal of thought to our spiritual nature. That thought creates our calm center and motivates our outward actions, producing high impact in the lives of others. We have anchored ourselves on spiritual certainties in life. We have found answers, purpose and meaning for our lives in our faith.
Life happens on the way to the future. Similar to calendars, I would see my life from two perspectives: "a day at a glance" and " a lifetime at a glance." If we keep our calendars open only to the the "lifetime at a glance" views, we forget to live each day to its fullest. We skip meaningful moments because we seem to be hurrying to turn the page.
On the other hand, if we leave our calendars open only to "day at a glance," we may miss reminders that the sum of our life is our days end to end. Both calendar views gives us the complete perspective. Our total impact on family, friends, and associates will amount to our impact one day at a time.
Living life to the fullest now doesn't mean that we do not plan for the future. On the contrary, we invest ourselves in things and people that have a life beyond ours. But living today means we can live with the confidence that actions today affect the quality an peace in our lives for years to come.
General speaking, most people feel separated from God in two situations: when one has plenty and when one has little. When we have plenty - money, jobs, friends, good times - we somehow think they have all come about by our own efforts and wisdom. When we have little - no money, no job, no friends, tragedy, and disappointment - we feel that God has pulled away from us and no longer cares. But that would be thought differently.
We got to have a personal relationship with God that gives us a heart of gratitude in "feast" and a steadfast peace and hope during "famine".
We should have given a great deal of thought to our spiritual nature. That thought creates our calm center and motivates our outward actions, producing high impact in the lives of others. We have anchored ourselves on spiritual certainties in life. We have found answers, purpose and meaning for our lives in our faith.
Relish Relationships
Been a while since I last turned the pages of a book... yes, BOOK. Anyone out there who have not been doing this for the last 12 months? The first book that I read AFTER SO LONG was Arjuna Hati by Norzailina Nordin and that was my very FIRST MALAY NOVEL. Heard of the good reviews in the media and managed to grab her book and true enough. The storyline was so easy to follow and no twisting to the content. Next task is to get her other novels that of course got good reviews.
More on reading books, and that kept my eyes running wild for books on motivation that I have put aside for a long long time. I'm glad that this book has brought new perspective on me in relishing relationships - something that I took for granted and never put particular attention to it. It's having relationship in spite of one own success, not because of it.
For ladies out there, smart woman hold on to relationships, despite fears, despite their success, and despite any difficulties. Smart woman don't need relationships literally, but they need them emotionally. That is, they don't feel inadequate and incomplete without them, but they thrive when relationships are in full bloom. Smart woman fight for the time to cultivate and grow them.
Many people still deal with resentments and past hurts - I'm one of them. We women ( sorry guys, this topic is for girls for the time being) apologize often, but we don't forgive nearly as easy. But smart woman have spent time analyzing the difficult situation, gaining insight on motivations, and then decide to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision, always. Forgiveness has limits for some people. For others, forgiveness flows from a deep well inside them. Forgiveness from such deep wounds never comes easy. But time helps, and so does the experience of receiving forgiveness from others for our own mistakes and faults. We judge other people on their actions and results; but we want them to judge us on our intentions. Time and understanding give perspective on past hurts.
Another aspect of building relationship is to find friends who offer an emotional support system. The question is not if ; the question is when. If you have not experienced tragedies and crises in your life, you are a lucky person indeed. But you will. And when that time comes - the time when you have no family nearby and/or they are unwilling to come to your side - you will need friends. They are Gods's hands on earth. Like this essay on the value of friendship:-
Sharing the happy-nings
in my life with you has doubled my pleasure.
The same is true for the
disappointments - you've
made the doldrums
more bearable
Thank you for stretching me.
For helping me to see
new ways of relating,
new causes to consider,
new interests to explore.
Thank you for saying things
to me that have not always
been easy to say. You risk my
hurt, disappointments, and anger. But you say them
anyway. I appreciate that.
Many people now pay a therapist for what a friend used to do - listen. Friends beat therapists in two ways; They don't make you sit on the couch, and they're far cheaper !
I've found a friend - having someone to turn to and talk with, friend who could offer solace, help, and suggestions, protected me from the deadly impact of life's rigors and trauma and I hope your friend is out there too.
Finally, the deepest stage of friendship is when friends hang on with you across the miles and through the years. Those that hang out, hang in, and hang on - these are your most valuable friendships.
More on reading books, and that kept my eyes running wild for books on motivation that I have put aside for a long long time. I'm glad that this book has brought new perspective on me in relishing relationships - something that I took for granted and never put particular attention to it. It's having relationship in spite of one own success, not because of it.
For ladies out there, smart woman hold on to relationships, despite fears, despite their success, and despite any difficulties. Smart woman don't need relationships literally, but they need them emotionally. That is, they don't feel inadequate and incomplete without them, but they thrive when relationships are in full bloom. Smart woman fight for the time to cultivate and grow them.
Many people still deal with resentments and past hurts - I'm one of them. We women ( sorry guys, this topic is for girls for the time being) apologize often, but we don't forgive nearly as easy. But smart woman have spent time analyzing the difficult situation, gaining insight on motivations, and then decide to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision, always. Forgiveness has limits for some people. For others, forgiveness flows from a deep well inside them. Forgiveness from such deep wounds never comes easy. But time helps, and so does the experience of receiving forgiveness from others for our own mistakes and faults. We judge other people on their actions and results; but we want them to judge us on our intentions. Time and understanding give perspective on past hurts.
Another aspect of building relationship is to find friends who offer an emotional support system. The question is not if ; the question is when. If you have not experienced tragedies and crises in your life, you are a lucky person indeed. But you will. And when that time comes - the time when you have no family nearby and/or they are unwilling to come to your side - you will need friends. They are Gods's hands on earth. Like this essay on the value of friendship:-
Sharing the happy-nings
in my life with you has doubled my pleasure.
The same is true for the
disappointments - you've
made the doldrums
more bearable
Thank you for stretching me.
For helping me to see
new ways of relating,
new causes to consider,
new interests to explore.
Thank you for saying things
to me that have not always
been easy to say. You risk my
hurt, disappointments, and anger. But you say them
anyway. I appreciate that.
Many people now pay a therapist for what a friend used to do - listen. Friends beat therapists in two ways; They don't make you sit on the couch, and they're far cheaper !
I've found a friend - having someone to turn to and talk with, friend who could offer solace, help, and suggestions, protected me from the deadly impact of life's rigors and trauma and I hope your friend is out there too.
Finally, the deepest stage of friendship is when friends hang on with you across the miles and through the years. Those that hang out, hang in, and hang on - these are your most valuable friendships.
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