Relish Relationships

Been a while since I last turned the pages of a book... yes, BOOK. Anyone out there who have not been doing this for the last 12 months? The first book that I read AFTER SO LONG was Arjuna Hati by Norzailina Nordin and that was my very FIRST MALAY NOVEL. Heard of the good reviews in the media and managed to grab her book and true enough. The storyline was so easy to follow and no twisting to the content. Next task is to get her other novels that of course got good reviews.

More on reading books, and that kept my eyes running wild for books on motivation that I have put aside for a long long time. I'm glad that this book has brought new perspective on me in relishing relationships - something that I took for granted and never put particular attention to it. It's having relationship in spite of one own success, not because of it.

For ladies out there, smart woman hold on to relationships, despite fears, despite their success, and despite any difficulties. Smart woman don't need relationships literally, but they need them emotionally. That is, they don't feel inadequate and incomplete without them, but they thrive when relationships are in full bloom. Smart woman fight for the time to cultivate and grow them.

Many people still deal with resentments and past hurts - I'm one of them. We women ( sorry guys, this topic is for girls for the time being) apologize often, but we don't forgive nearly as easy. But smart woman have spent time analyzing the difficult situation, gaining insight on motivations, and then decide to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision, always. Forgiveness has limits for some people. For others, forgiveness flows from a deep well inside them. Forgiveness from such deep wounds never comes easy. But time helps, and so does the experience of receiving forgiveness from others for our own mistakes and faults. We judge other people on their actions and results; but we want them to judge us on our intentions. Time and understanding give perspective on past hurts.

Another aspect of building relationship is to find friends who offer an emotional support system. The question is not if ; the question is when. If you have not experienced tragedies and crises in your life, you are a lucky person indeed. But you will. And when that time comes - the time when you have no family nearby and/or they are unwilling to come to your side - you will need friends. They are Gods's hands on earth. Like this essay on the value of friendship:-

Sharing the happy-nings
in my life with you has doubled my pleasure.
The same is true for the
disappointments - you've
made the doldrums
more bearable
Thank you for stretching me.
For helping me to see
new ways of relating,
new causes to consider,
new interests to explore.
Thank you for saying things
to me that have not always
been easy to say. You risk my
hurt, disappointments, and anger. But you say them
anyway. I appreciate that.

Many people now pay a therapist for what a friend used to do - listen. Friends beat therapists in two ways; They don't make you sit on the couch, and they're far cheaper !

I've found a friend - having someone to turn to and talk with, friend who could offer solace, help, and suggestions, protected me from the deadly impact of life's rigors and trauma and I hope your friend is out there too.

Finally, the deepest stage of friendship is when friends hang on with you across the miles and through the years. Those that hang out, hang in, and hang on - these are your most valuable friendships.